What you heal within yourself, you heal for your whole family line

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What you heal within yourself, you heal for your whole family line | Mary Shields PhD.

Painting by Jeremy Enecio

So many of my students and clients talk about themselves as the scapegoat, the cuckoo in the nest, or some way in which they feel like they are outliers in their own family systems.

For them, this role has created deep pain.  Most often, healing that pain is a big part of their full healing, whether they come to me for a physical issue or an emotional/spiritual issue or both.

What happens next in the healing process amazes them (and me): The entire family system shifts dramatically and receives healing as well. Really.

The dream of all your ancestors

Bert Hellinger, founder of Family Constellations, writes of those who are the “outliers” of the family: “You are the dream of all your ancestors.”

I see this over and over again when I work with Mending Webs: Those in this role are the ones who help the entire system to change.

As Hellinger writes, they are the ones who release the entire family tree of repetitive issues and stories that have been present for generations.

In the Mending Webs classes, I teach tools to work both with the roles people play in the family system and the system as a whole.

When we work directly with the person, it often accelerates their own healing dramatically – and it always inevitably affects the whole family system in some way.

When you are able to work directly with the family system, even one session can change the whole system.

And finally, when you are able to work with the primary webs that each person carries (the core aspects that makes up the person’s sense of self – the “I Am”), it has a direct impact on anyone alive throughout the system.

Most family systems exhibit some dysfunction somewhere.  Mending Webs is one of the best tools I know for addressing those dysfunctions in a way that not only heals the person with whom you work, but also heals generationally.  It’s powerful work!

Over and over again, I find the saying to be true: “What you heal within yourself, you heal for your whole family line.”

There is still time!

If you are a family member in one of these roles, a webkeeper (the person who heads up the family system), a therapist who works with (or would like to work with) family and group dynamics, I hope you will consider joining me for the upcoming Mending Webs classes Nov 8-11.

Mending Webs:  Healing Relationships
Nov 8-9

Mending Webs: Somatic Relationships
Nov 10-11

If you have questions, please fill out this form and we can talk more about it!

And if you can’t make it, I have a few spots open for new clients.  Read more here.

With love and gratitude,

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