I surrender! Apparently, I still have “a thousand serious moves.”
Have you ever had a week that went completely haywire – where you just couldn’t get anything accomplished? Last week was like that for me.
Tuesday I had no internet (my internet carrier was not working anywhere in Ohio all day). So I was using my new-ish iPhone as a hotspot. The only thing is, the connection wasn’t very good and would almost drop, sometimes multiple times in a call. I’ve been having connectivity issues at home with my new-ish phone network, and this was just one more issue.
Then on Thursday, I just had to laugh. I had the whole afternoon carved out to do some writing and work on some projects. I had cleared my calendar and made sure that I was free. But I also had a new SIM card from my carrier to activate and install. So at the beginning of the afternoon, I called. It took them 5 times to activate it, and then the call dropped. I had no phone service. And no other phone, as I gave up my landline a few months ago.
I gave it some time, and then did all the things I know to do. Finally, I started a chat with customer service. An hour later, they were still having me do the same things over and over that I had done before I started that chat. Then…they said I would need to call tech support.
????? I thought I had been talking with someone in tech support all along. Evidently not. And then the clincher was that I couldn’t chat with someone in tech support. I had to call them (and I had no phone service)!
Surrender in the Chaos
At this point, I just started laughing. The whole week had been like this and I had been frustrated and the frustrations just snowballed. You know how it is. When you are resisting everything that’s happening, it just keeps getting more and more frustrating.
So I stopped. And I laughed out loud. And I finally said UNCLE! (I know – that dates me!). I surrender!
And then I remembered a wonderful poem from Daniel Ladinsky’s renderings of Hafiz: “I Heard God Laughing.” And I just laughed, because I apparently still think I have “a thousand serious moves.”
I Heard God Laughing.
Here is the poem in full:
What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?
The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying “I Surrender!”
Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.
(as rendered by Daniel Ladinsky in The Gift: Poems by Hafiz the Great Sufi Master)
A Thousand Serious Moves or Maybe Not So Serious
Do you resonate? Do you also think you have a thousand serious moves? If so, then I invite you to stop. Laugh. Throw up your hands and say “Uncle!” Then surrender to the Divine. Floating along with the current of the river is so much easier than trying to swim upstream against the current.
End of story: about halfway through the chat, I had a sneaking suspicion they weren’t going to be able to help me, so I booked a help session at my local apple store. It gook about an hour including travel time, but they had me up and running again within minutes. Turns out I had two SIM cards active at the same time (and they had another person in with the same issue just an hour before I arrived!). I still have phone connectivity issues. If I can’t get those solved, I’ll be switching to a different carrier, but I’m laughing all the way!
Here is a post that has a healing practice around control and surrender.
These words are powerful medicine for all that we face currently. I hope they can help you as we move through these very challenging times. And for a bit more support, here is a post that includes a powerful surrender practice.