Feelings Are Meant to be Felt!

As I’ve been working the Wounded Healer path with my clients and myself, I’ve become aware of how little we in Western culture are able to feel our feelings. Most of us try to think our feelings and/or we try not to feel them at all, at least not the feelings we judge to be “bad” or “negative.”

The downside of this is that when we don’t allow ourselves to feel one particular feeling, it results in our not being able to feel any feeling.  By suppressing one, we end up suppressing them all.  The result? Numbness. Or desperately trying to think our feelings. Or both.

Why doesn’t that “thinking” approach work? Because the brain is not equipped to deal with feelings! The head brain is great at a whole host of things, but feeling and processing emotions is not one of them. Only the heart can feel and process emotions or feelings.

The Wounded Healer Path

In the Wounded Healer path, we remind the head brain to do what it’s good at, and turn to our heart when emotions arise. And they will, because if we’ve been trying to think our emotions or suppress the feelings we condemn as “bad,” a lot of stored emotions will surface and need to be dealt with. Here’s where the Wounded Healer path has the advantage. At the start, we spend a lot of time doing simple, coarse releases of emotions—not needing to retell the stories—just diving in and releasing those old stored emotions. And we return to this practice again and again as you move through them.

Dive into Your Feelings

My encouragement for each of you (and myself) is to notice when you’re thinking your feelings instead of feeling them. Pay attention to when you feel the urge, that uncomfortable driving force, to move through and past “negative” or “bad” feelings. If you can, stop. Take a breath, dive in, and feel whatever they are.

Remember that emotions are actually neutral. We label them “good” or “bad,” but they’re just like weather systems blowing through. None are “bad” in and of themselves. So fear not: Dive into whatever you are feeling and allow yourself to release what is bubbling up, those new feelings or the deeply seated old ones you’ve been holding on to.

And a real “plus!” You don’t have to know the underlying story! (“Understanding” your feelings or trying to figure out “why” you’re feeling what you do, only puts you back in your head.)

Sit with Your Feelings for 90 Seconds

Research has shown that feelings will peak and move through in about 90 seconds if we really feel them. That may feel like an eternity, but how much better it is to feel them for only 90 seconds than to have them trapped inside for you to feel over and over and have to release later.

It’s quite simple, really. When emotions bubble up:  Stop. Take a breath. Dive in. Feel the emotion (without judgment, if possible). And let it move through and set you free.


If this sparked you and inspired you on your spiritual journey, and you want to learn more, please click here to book a free consultation.

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